Under the Tuscan Sun6/30/2023 Friday of the 12th Week in OT
You may remember the book, “Under the Tuscan Sun” which was on the best seller list for more than two years. Recently my brother Bill and his wife Sue rented a villa in Tuscany and celebrated Sue’s 75th birthday and their 55th wedding anniversary with three generations. You can see Bill and Sue in the photo above with their three children, their spouses, grandchildren and one great-grandchild. Since the reading from Genesis is about generations of descendants from Abraham, Sarah, Isaac and Ishmael, I thought a “generation” photo would work for today. I was also struck with Abraham’s reaching the age of 99 (as my mother did) but he was about to begin a new life. Yes, I know that the chronology here can’t be equated with our own, but the point is that both Abraham and Sarah have already reached a “ripe old age” and yet, they are being asked to imagine something new and exciting happening in their lives. If you’re reading this and think you’ve “aged out” would you be able to glean some wisdom for yourself from a couple who lived almost 4000 years ago? Can I? The photos below are from a trip to Tuscany with my friend JA who was reading "Under the Tuscan Sun" and friends, Paul and Kristin Melley.
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Passion's Flower6/29/2023 The Solemnity of Saints Peter and Paul
Today is a "repetition" day. Tomorrow, I promise something "new." Every time I write “Solemnity” instead of “Feast” for these important moments in the liturgical calendar, my heart sinks. Solemnity sounds so, well, solemn. Feast sounds festive. Neither Peter nor Paul strikes me as “solemn.” Rather, I think of them as passionate, alive in love for Jesus Christ The photo above contains a passionflower and fruit. I’m not suggesting that Peter is a fruit and Paul is a flower or vice versa but rather what unites the two is their Passion, suffering for the sake of the Gospel and their passionate love of Jesus Christ. The passion fruit was named by missionaries in Brazil around1700 “flower of the five wounds.” When opened, they saw an image of Christ’s passion and his wounds. The flower, as you can see, is an exquisite exemplar of God’s passionate love given expression in the beauty of creation. On this feast of Saints Peter and Paul, inspired by the passionflower and fruit, I’d like to share with you two pieces of choreography that embody the passionate love for Jesus Christ as well as the exquisite beauty of creation captured in the image of the passionflower. I discovered the musical settings of Benjamin Britten to poems by Gerard Manley Hopkins on retreat at Eastern Point a number of years ago. I was planning to do some new choreography for a presentation at Boston College entitled: Two Jesuit Choreographers: East Meets West. The program would contrast the choreographies of Indian Jesuit, Fr. Saju George as well as my own. When I discovered the Britten pieces, O Deus, Ego Te Amo and The World is Charged with the Grandeur of God, I knew that this was the music and text that I would use. (Years later I found it “interesting” that the Hopkins poem was based on a prayer attributed to St Francis Xavier.) O God, I love thee, I love thee — Not out of hope of heaven for me Nor fearing not to love and be In the everlasting burning. Thou, thou, my Jesus, after me Didst reach thine arms out dying, For my sake sufferedst nails and lance,┬░ Mocked and marred countenance, Sorrows passing number, Sweat and care and cumber, Yea and death, and this for me, And thou couldst see me sinning: Then I, why should not I love thee, Jesu so much in love with me? Not for heaven's sake; not to be Out of hell by loving thee; Not for any gains I see; But just the way that thou didst me I do love and I will love thee: What must I love thee, Lord, for then? — For being my king and God. Amen Here is the link to “O Deus, Ego Te Amo,” beautifully danced by Darren Devaney. I hope it embodies for you some of the Passion expressed in the poem. I hope you can see the “fruit” of his labor and the beautiful “flower” of a movement prayer. The second piece is “God’s Grandeur.” The world is charged with the grandeur of God. It will flame out, like shining from shook foil; It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil Crushed. Why do men then now not reck his rod? Generations have trod, have trod, have trod; And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil; And wears man's smudge and shares man's smell: the soil Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod. And for all this, nature is never spent; There lives the dearest freshness deep down things; And though the last lights off the black West went Oh, morning, at the brown brink eastward, springs -- Because the Holy Ghost over the bent World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings. https://vimeo.com/344685605 Do you remember the TV show The Odd Couple? If you weren’t around in the 1970’s and haven’t seen it in reruns or in updated versions, it’s about two very unlikely people living together. Felix and Oscar couldn’t be more different. One is neat, tidy, erudite, fussy. That’s Felix and Oscar is anything but. I was reminded of this odd couple on a day when the Church joins together the memory of Peter and Paul, a very odd couple indeed. Peter, the fisherman, no formal education, rough, and impulsive, and who must have spent more time in a boat than in the local synagogue. If Peter were visiting Gloucester, he would be hanging out in Pratty’s, the local watering hole for fishermen and women. It’s the bar that’s featured in the movie Coda which was filmed here and won the Oscar for best picture this year. It’s fitting that Peter, who I think of as “Oscar-like” in the odd couple is associated with winning an Oscar! And then there’s Paul. He’s highly educated, ,articulate, polished, methodical and very must have spent most of his time studying the Torah when he wasn’t making tents. I see him as “Felix” in the analogy with the Odd Couple. And Felix is the Latin word for “happy”. If Paul were here in Gloucester, I imagine he would be very “happy” to dine on lobster at the Beauport Hotel. And continuing the analogy with the “odd couple” Peter and Paul were sometimes at odds with each other. They didn’t see “eye to eye” In fact in the Letter to the Galatians, Paul calls Peter a hypocrite. When Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned. 12 For before certain men came from James, he used to eat with the Gentiles. But when they arrived, he began to draw back and separate himself from the Gentiles because he was afraid of those who belonged to the circumcision group. 13 The other Jews joined him in his hypocrisy, so that by their hypocrisy even Barnabas was led astray. 14 When I saw that they were not acting in line with the truth of the gospel, I said to Cephas in front of them all, “You are a Jew, yet you live like a Gentile and not like a Jew. How is it, then, that you force Gentiles to follow Jewish customs? So why do we celebrate them together? Yes, they are the two most influential men in the foundation of the Church. Although it might have made more sense to include Mary of Magdala in this solemnity. Then we would have Peter, Paul and Mary. So what did this “odd couple” have in common. Or better “whom” did they have in common? Despite their very different personalities and backgrounds, they each heard the voice of Jesus. Peter heard the voice of Jesus calling him to follow him. And Peter heard Jesus at times affirming him, rebuking him, challenging him, and loving him. And Paul heard the voice of Jesus on the road to Damascus, revealing himself when Paul asks him? Who are you? And he hears the voice of Jesus say, “I am Jesus whom you are persecuting. For both Peter, Paul and Mary too, it’s the personal encounter with the Risen Jesus that is transformative. And what this “odd couple” of Peter and Paul has in common as well is passion for the good news of Jesus Christ. And here you are on your 8 day/30 day retreat, listening for the voice of Jesus, hoping for another encounter with the Risen lord that will be transformative for you. What is it that you hope to hear from the Lord? “Trust me” “I am with you” “Don’t be afraid” “I call you friend.” “I know you and love you as you are.” And what if you hear what the disciples on the road the Caesarea Phillipi heard, “Who do you say that I am?” How will you respond. Or as the French translation says. “Pour vous, qui suis-je?” Who am I for you? What difference do I really make in your life? Pot/pourri - Ripe for Rainbows6/28/2023 Memorial of St Irenaeus/ Wednesday of the 12th Week in OT
The weather conditions these days have certainly been “ripe for rainbows.” With all the rain we’ve been having and the sudden breaks of sun, it’s no surprise that a rainbow is visible. The one above is actually from this day a year ago. So, I entitled this reflection “Pot-pourri” because of the allusion to the “pot of gold” at the end of the rainbow, but also because “potpourri” is a mixture of scents from dried herbs and flowers, and this this reflection is a mix from this year and years past. 2022 Last night after a rain-soaked day, the Rainbow in the sky was simply “glorious” as you can see. The word “glorious” is on my mind this morning since it’s the memorial of St Irenaeus. This 2nd century bishop is most noted for the “catchy “phrase, “The glory of God is the human person fully alive.” Out of context this “catchy” phrase seems to suggest that we are a reflection of God’s glory if we are “fully” alive. Or, as some would say,” If we are living life to the fullest, we are giving glory to God.” But what does that mean? Engaging in extreme sports? Pushing ourselves to the limit? Here is the quote: For the glory of God is a living person; and the life of man/woman consists in beholding God. For if the manifestation of God which is made by means of the creation, affords life to all living in the earth, much more does that revelation of the Father which comes through the Word, give life to those who see God." For Irenaeus, to be “fully alive” is to live “through, with and in” Christ Jesus since He is the one who reveals the hidden God. In God’s embracing our humanity fully in Jesus Christ, God’s glory is ours. Irenaeus echoes the words of St Paul in his letter to the Romans: For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen For those retreatants beginning the Spiritual Exercises, they will be invited by St Ignatius to reflect on what it means to be “fully alive.” For Ignatius, the principle and foundation of being fully human is to realize that the human person is created to “praise, reverence and serve” God and in this way to attain our full potential; the reason for which we were created. For Ignatius, like St Paul and St Irenaeus, “to live is Christ.” Jesus Christ is more than a “model of how to live.” He is the way to live, the truth to live, the life to live. Through him, and with him and in, all glory be to God! 2021 “Berry True” “By their fruits you will know them!” Jesus uses this “very true” expression twice in today’s Gospel. Two years ago, I wrote a reflection on Wednesday of the 12th Week in OT which played with the “cheeriness of cherries” and the “zest of lemons” Yes, one is sweet and the other sour but that’s the mystery of life. What came to mind this morning is the song “Life is just a bowl of cherries.” I never realized how “berry true” the lyrics of this song were. They echo Jesus’s words in another Gospel passage when he says not to worry. Look at the lilies of the field and the birds of the air. Can we add another minute, hour, day, year to our life by worrying? They also echo the Principle and Foundation of St Ignatius’s Spiritual Exercises when he says that everything on the face of the earth is not ours to “own” but rather “gifts” to bring us to the end for which we were created. So here are the lyrics. See if you think they are “berry true.” People are strange, they're always crowing, scrambling and rushing about Why don't they stop someday, address themselves this way? Why are we here? Where are we going? It's time that we found out We're not here to stay; we're on a short holiday Life is just a bowl of cherries Don't take it serious; it's too mysterious You work, you save, you worry so But you can't take your dough when you go, go, go So keep repeating it's the berries The strongest oak must fall The sweet things in life, to you were just loaned So how can you lose what you've never owned? Life is just a bowl of cherries So live and laugh at it all In reality, we know that life is not a “bowl of cherries.” It’s not always “cheery” but there is something “berry true” when we are invited to reflect on how life is a gift. Everything is “on loan” so can we be grateful for what we have, when we have it? 2019 I didn’t have a photo of a cherry or a lemon tree so instead I’ve created a photo of a “bowl of cherries” with a few lemons thrown in. After all, we know that life is not a “bowl of cherries.” Everything in life is not sweet and succulent, not always “cheery.” And if cherries are cheery, lemons are sour and as the song goes “impossible to eat.” “Lemon Tree very pretty and the lemon flower is sweet but the fruit of the poor lemon is impossible to eat” “By their fruits you will know them.” These words of Jesus from today’s gospel made me start thinking about fruit trees and what kind of fruit tree I would want to be. The cherry tree came to mind since I think of cherries as “cheery.” One of the reasons I try to be as playful and positive in these reflections is that there are so many reasons for sad and sour faces in our world. If I can bring some cheer, a smile or even a laugh it makes the effort worthwhile. As the song “Life is Just a Bowl of Cherries” goes, “Don’t take it serious. It’s too mysterious.” Then the lemon tree came to mind. Lemons may get a bad rap especially since their wraps, or rinds provide zest. Think of all those recipes that call for the juice of a lemon. Lemon meringue, Limoncello, lemon squares. lemonade. Maybe being a lemon tree wouldn’t be so bad after all! Could I be a source of zest and sparkle, even at the risk of being so often sour? My dear friend, Lyn Brakeman whose blog and book is entitled “Spiritual Lemons” As she says in spirituallemons.blogspot.com Spiritual Lemons: Zest for Souls Challenged and Courageous “Even the sourest of life’s “lemons” are spiritual, add zest to life.” Most of us are a hybrid of cherry and lemon, sweet and sour but that’s life! Life can be a bowl of cherries but don’t lose the lemons! 2023 As I read my reflections over the years, I’m amazed how the same scripture keeps bearing fruit. I hope you find them as “fruitful” as I do. And who knows, you may just find that "pot of gold" at the end of the rainbow. Lots on my mind6/27/2023 Tuesday of the 12th Week in OT
I have lots on my mind this morning. It’s my mother’s birthday and she would be 109 this year. She shares her birthday with my good friend, Peggy Baseman who lost her husband, Harris, this past year. It’s also the 41st wedding anniversary of my dear friends Brian and Carol Faherty. Theirs was a beautiful and memorable wedding. And, in addition to all these special remembrances, what’s on my mind is the presentation I will give this afternoon to the retreatants at EP who will begin the Spiritual Exercises tomorrow. The grace of being invited back to give this talk is that I was able to sit in my rocker (not off my rocker) on my perfect perch and look out at the sea and the sun for the last time. (at least from this particular perch.) And, of course, “Lot’s” on my mind. This is what I wrote two years ago which bears repeating. The biblical personage, Lot, is with Abram the featured player in today’s drama. The two must make a decision which “way to go” or “road to take” since they have come to the conclusion that they must go their separate ways. So Abram said to Lot: “Let there be no strife between you and me, or between your herdsmen and mine, for we are kinsmen. Is not the whole land at your disposal? Please separate from me. If you prefer the left, I will go to the right; if you prefer the right, I will go to the left.” Lot looked about and saw how well watered the whole Jordan Plain was as far as Zoar, like the LORD’s own garden, or like Egypt. (This was before the LORD had destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah.) Lot, therefore, chose for himself the whole Jordan Plain and set out eastward. The folks who come here for retreat always have “lots on their mind.” More often than not, they are trying to discern God’s will for them. They would like to make a decision about the future that has God’s “seal of approval.” Often times they assume that God has a fixed plan for them, and they just need to figure it out! I’m not sure that that’s the way that God is with us. I prefer to think that discernment is first knowing your own heart’s desire and trusting that God will affirm that and be “on the road” with you. In the case of Abram and Lot, it seems that Abram had the genuine freedom to accept whatever came his way. Lot, on the other hand, seems to want the best land for himself and his kinsmen. You have to wonder if Lot’s self-interest brought about his “lot in life” which was ultimately pain, loss and grief. Abram’s willingness to leave it up to Lot to decide which way to go ultimately leads him to become the first patriarch whose descendants will be as countless as the stars. Two years ago, when I wrote about this passage, the Robert Frost poem, “The Road Not Taken” came to mind. I share it again. Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. The choices that Lot and Abraham made, the directions they chose to follow made all the difference. Lot’s lot in life was one misfortune after another. Abraham’s lot was quite the opposite, blessing upon blessing. How much was due to the paths they chose to take? Was Abraham more attentive to God’s initiative? Was Lot choosing his own way rather than listening to God’s promptings? The power of Frost’s poem is its reminder that the path we choose to take precludes others. “Knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.” There is a certain melancholy as he wonders what would have been if he had taken the other path, gone in a different direction. And what about ourselves? I for one wonder what my life would have been had I made different choices along the way, when “two road diverged.” When like Lot, the direction we have gone in has led to misfortune and even tragedy, it’s easy to say that we wish we had chosen the other path. As I was writing this, I remembered when my father was in the nursing home suffering for about 5 years from a series of strokes that impaired his communication and recognition of any of his family. I never expected that his lot in life would include final years that would rob him of his mind and memory. On this one day, however, when I was visiting him, babbling away assuming that my words were just words, my father spoke for the first time in years. His words were, “Yes, it is.” They came from his powerful and resonant voice that I had not heard for so long. It was his “amen” to life with all its joys and pains, its choices and challenges. We have all taken the road less travelled because that road is uniquely who we are. No one else has ever travelled that same road, even when there have been companions on the way. I realize this is “a lot” to ask, but can you say “Amen” to all the joys and pains, the choices and challenges of your life? That’s the question that I’m asking myself this morning two years later. I’m attaching the text of my talk on Prayer and the Imagination in case you’re interested. prayer_and_the_imagination.docx Mete Mote6/26/2023 Monday of the 12th Week in OT Judge not, that ye be not judged. 2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. 3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? 4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? 5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye. As often happens, I tend to focus on words and translations of the scriptures. When I was reading “splinter” in Matthew's Gospel today, I wondered why that was the translation. Have you ever had a splinter in your eye? I remembered how this used to be translated “mote,” but had to go back to the King James Version. I guess “mote” is pretty “re-mote” or archaic. What a “mote” is, is a speck of dust. I’m sure we can all relate to having a particle of something or an eye lash in the eye and all the irritation that it causes. I wear contact lenses and if a speck of anything is on the lens, ouch! So back to the splinter. I believe that it’s translated as a splinter in many translations, because the Greek word used to compare what’s in the eye of the beholder is "don" which means “log” and since a log is wooden, why not a splinter? (That's the reason for the photo of all those logs!) Other translations are “plank” or “beam” (as in a wooden beam.) The point, of course, is how we judge others severely and fail to see our own failings which may have a measurement of “XXXLarge” in comparison to a simple “S” (small) But wait, this morning it dawned on me that a “beam” is also a ray of light. The “beam” in one’s eye may be such an intense light that it blinds one from seeing the good in the other. However, you translate it, the message is simple. Stop judging. Let love and compassion be your measuring cup. And may your cup runneth over….. The photo below is of my good friend, Don Crean. When I visited him in San Francisco, we met with another mutual friend who lives in one of the "Painted Ladies." In the afternoon, the sun beams refract through the chandeliers and as you can see, Don has a "beam" in his eye. How perfect for someone who is always "beaming." Mellow Yellow6/25/2023 12th Sunday in Ordinary Time
The reading from Jeremiah is anything but "mellow" as he expresses his fears. And is anything but "yellow" in his courage facing his enemies who are out to get him. In contrast, Jesus' advice to us is to "mellow out." Fear no one. Trust in God's providential care for you. Here's the homily I will give this morning. Are not two sparrows sold for a small coin? Yet not one of them falls to the ground without your Father's knowledge. Last Wednesday, which happened to be Solstice Day as well as the memorial of St Aloysius Gonzaga, I returned from spending almost two weeks at Gonzaga Eastern Point Retreat House. I was making my own retreat and helping out in other ways. One morning when I was walking outside past the glass-enclosed dining room, I noticed the barn swallows swooping, diving down and soaring up. The retreatants love to watch this aerial display. (Not as much as they love to watch the seals cavorting on the rocks in Brace Cove.) What I remembered as I saw the swallows doing their diving to the delight of those watching, was an incident that happened during the 30 day retreat two summers ago. One of the barn swallows, not knowing that what appeared to them to be open air through which they could fly and find a perch, was plate glass, must have crashed and fell to the ground. One of the retreatants discovered the wounded bird and was moved with compassion. She named him Barny. With the help of others, she was able to get treatment for him who was able to fly free once again. I tell you that story because of the connection with the “two sparrows” in the Gospel but also because two weeks ago before leaving for EP, as I walked down the stairs of the Mansion, I stopped on the landing transfixed by what I saw. There on the roof was a sparrow, struggling to fly, only able to move one wing. It must have mistaken the glass window for open air and suffered a similar fate as Barny had. I wish I could have swooped to its aid but the window, the screen, the climbing out on the roof was too much trouble. Too many obstacles. When I returned later on, its struggled had ended. Swallows and sparrows. What does that have to do with us? Jesus seems to think that it does. God’s providential care extends to all of creation, even though he says we are worth more than two sparrows. But what does that mean? What is God’s providential care. It’s clear that God does not prevent swallows and sparrows flying into glass windows. God does not prevent those missteps that happen in our everyday life. If that were the case, we wouldn’t have the fear of falling that we do. Many here know the fear of falling. It seems like the fear of failing when we are younger is replaced by the fear of falling when we are older. So, what is God’s providence if it’s not preventing our falls, our accidents, our missteps and faux pas? What is God’s providence if it’s not God’s preventing us from falling into traps of self-deception or other’s cruelty as Jeremiah describes? Isn’t God’s Providence found in the compassion we have for those who are suffering, the tender care we may offer to another? Here at Campion, we are with many of our brothers who are no longer able to fly free as a bird, whose wings have been clipped by age and infirmity but whose spirit can still swoop and soar if we do our best to encourage each other. As Jesus says, Fear no one. There is nothing to fear since God is saying “I’ve got you.” Three years ago, the 12th Sunday of the Year Cycle A fell on Solstice Day. I wrote the poem “Soul-stice.” Inspired by Jeremiah and Jesus. I’d like to conclude sharing it with you. I shared Soul-stice with you before but since it was inspired by these readings, I share it again. soul-stice.docx What's In Store6/23/2023 For some reason this post did not appear. It's worth reading. Friday of the 11th Week in OT After the very intense prayer experience at the end of my retreat that I described yesterday, I’m asking myself “What’s in store?” for me. Will I have to wait till my next 8 day retreat before I’m gifted with a similar experience? Or are these moments of grace available for us more than we can imagine, if we only pay attention? In today’s Gospel, Jesus says “Don’t store up treasures that can decay or be stolen, but store up heavenly treasures. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be.” BTW, the origin of the word “treasure” from the Greek is “Thesaurus” (Roget’s Thesaurus is a storehouse of synonyms.) If you’ll indulge my foolishness again, “heavenly treasures” doesn’t mean “indulgences.” I do think it means “grace upon grace.” As you know, grace is experienced and can be found “in all things.” During my retreat I began reading Kevin O’Brien’s new book, “Seeing with the Heart: A Guide to Navigating Life’s Adventures.” Kevin Is the author of the Ignatian Adventure which those of you who have made the Spiritual Exercises in Everyday Life have most likely used. It really is a wonderful resource on Ignatian Spirituality. It’s a storehouse of wisdom and wit woven together with Kevin’s own encounters with the mystery of grace in his life. I’m thinking about this book today because its title resonates with Jesus’ words, “Where your treasure is, there will your heart be.” The invitation is to “see with the heart.” Early on, in a section entitled, “Living in a World of Grace,” he quotes a section of Alice Walker’s “The Color Purple.” The characters Celie and Shug are talking about God’s loving the world. Shug says that God gets “pissed off” if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don’t notice it.” Celie asks what God does when God gets “pissed.” Shug says, “Oh, it make something else. People think pleasing God is all God care about. But any fool living in the world can see it is always trying to please us back.” And so this morning, I had to stop and give thanks for the color purple that you see in the photo of the fountain and garden outside our Health Center. And it wasn’t just the color purple. It was a treasury of colors and flowers and flowing water. Grace upon grace….. Where your treasure is, there will your heart be. And thanks to my friend, Ed Dailey for gifting me with "Seeing with The Heart." About Face6/22/2023
I echo Paul’s words to the Corinthian community in today’s scripture. “If only you would put up with a bit of foolishness from me! Please put up with me!” If you read these journals on a regular or sporadic basis, you’ been putting up with my foolishness.
As I mentioned yesterday, my prayer before finishing the retreat left me reeling. In fact, I found myself disoriented for most of the day. I will try to describe what happened to me. I know it will sound “foolish” at times and I do wonder a bit about my sanity (LOL) In my final meeting with my spiritual director on Tuesday, I told him how moved I was by the poems of John of the Cross. I spoke of my own woundedness, especially knowing the longing for the Beloved to be with me in some tangible way. I was also aware of a great sadness in me since the next day I would be leaving my “perch” overlooking Brace Cove. For the three years that I lived at EP, one of my rooms in the Annex was a perfect perch for prayer in a rocking chair. Since my departure last August, I was able to use those rooms when I visited and for my retreat. A new staff member would be moving in soon and I would not be able to have this perfect perch for prayer at my disposal. The next morning (yesterday) I went from my favorite early morning perch in my rocking chair to my other favorite perch on a cushion in the Chapel. Fortunately, I’m still able to sit cross-legged on a cushion. And during the early morning hour I had the cushion and the chapel mostly to myself during the retreat. Since I had been praying this way, the poem I wrote last summer, “Cushion-aerie” came to mind. cushion-aeerie.docx What first came to mind when I looked at the scriptures was the contrast between, “cheerful” in Paul’s letter and “gloomy” in Jesus’ words about fasting. Since my own spirit has been so much more gloomy than cheerful for almost a year now, I spent some time with the “doom and gloom” that I expressed in “Cushion-aerie” As I wallowed in the gloom for a while, what came to mind was an email from a friend whose 30-day retreat I had directed. When she was here, one of the barn swallows that we see dive-bombing outside the dining room window was injured. Carlene found him, cared for him and “Barny” as she named him was able to fly again. In her email, she reminded me of how God cares for the “sparrows” and “swallows.” That of course, prompted me to think of “Soul-stice” since it was solstice day and I refer to sparrows and swallows….. Her words helped me to move from gloom to cheer which led me to a word search for the origin of “cheer.” I was surprised to find that it comes from the Greek, “kara” which means “head.” In Latin, “cara” which means face. I suppose “cheer” is seen most prominently on the face when one is happy. (Face emoji) The connection between “cheer” and “face” led me to think of the expression “about face.” Of course, this could be “about” in the sense of regarding face or it could be the military command to change direction. It was the thought of making an “about face” that took hold of me. In my mind, I thought of making an about face and the person who was behind me was Jesus. It took an “about face” to see him. The way I saw him was as he was in “Cushion-Aerie.” And there amidst the muck, the mud, the mire another figure I espy, gleaming gold, like electrum, an alloy of human and divine, an ally in my exile. No fiery furnace but muddy cistern and still the waters of rescue run deep within my soul. “Mark my words,” his voice an echo chamber and I remember the storm, the disciple’s cry, “Don’t you care that we are sinking? and his sleeping. A cushion his head rest, he awakes to quell the swells that threaten to swallow and standing on his shoulders, I clamber out of the cistern and into his embrace. All this from an “about face.” But then, the “Song of Praise” and the dance I had choreographed to the music from Paul Winter’s Missa Gaia came to mind. I could hear it in my mind’s ear and see it in my mind’s eye. vimeo.com/265442500 And as I did another “about face” and looked out the window of the Chapel I saw Brace Rock, Petronella, Skye, and Lazarus “all a shimmer.” It was as if all creation was wearing the raiment of God’s Glory. I felt tremors within me that became sobs (muffled because I was in the Chapel) and it felt again like it had felt 40 years ago out on the rocks. It was a “transfiguration” and it reminded me of the poem “Mountain Clime” which is about all of creation being transfigured with and through Jesus. mountain_clime.docx At some point the prayer came to an end but I continued to feel the “aftershocks.” One of them occurred when I was driving back to Boston and took the road along the coast. It suddenly dawned on me that the grace I had asked for at the beginning of the retreat was to have the cataracts that were blurring my vision removed. Seeing whom and what I now saw, I realized that had indeed happened. The place where this happened on the road was the same place where 40 years ago I was riding my bike back to the retreat house from Good Harbor Beach. I was concluding the First Week of the Exercises and it dawned on me that I was not feeling “cheery” about God’s unconditional love for me as a sinner because I had not forgiven myself for not being “perfect.” As I look back over the 8 days of retreat, I’m amazed at how much happened, even though I didn’t see it happening until the final day. I’m hoping that the grace will continue and make me less gloomy, more cheery, more generous, and loving. Below is a video slide show of the sea and sky during the 8 days. June Retreat from Robert VerEecke on Vimeo. For Reel?6/21/2023 For Reel?
Memorial of St Aloysius Gonzaga My prayer this morning has me “reeling.” So much so that I’m questioning whether it was “for real.” I was hoping for a “repeat performance” and I think I may have had it. I’m too “shaky” to write now. And I have to leave soon for an engagement that will keep me busy all day. I’ll try to write again tomorrow morning and describe the indescribable. Hide and Go Peek6/20/2023 Tuesday of the 11th Week in OT
When I spoke of the Song of Songs and how John of the Cross used these texts in his prayer, my director “happened” to have a copy of “Songs between the Soul and the Bridegroom” translated from the Spanish by Roy Campbell S.J. I prayed with this poem yesterday but it was the first lines that stayed with me. “Where can your hiding be, Beloved, that you left me to moan While like the stag you flee Leaving the wound with me? I followed calling loud, but you had flown. I think we all have had experiences of playing “hide and go seek” with God. When you play the game, you know that the one who hides is somewhere and you have to look in all sorts of places to discover where they are. Why does God hide from us, his creatures? Is it that God is “shy” and is anxious about coming out and being seen? 40 years ago on my 30 day retreat on the final day, I went out on the rocks here and I was listening to the Mozart Mass in C Minor on a beautiful summer day. As I prayed, It felt as if the sky was opening and the raw energy of Love was being poured into me. It was beautiful but painful all at once. I knew that I couldn’t bear this feeling for very long. I prayed for it to stop or else I would have to die. It did leave me and I was reduced to tears. I remember thinking that it’s why we can not “see” God, because our being human cannot bear it. I remember this experience as I come to my final full day of retreat. I’m hoping for a “repeat” performance. Will let you know if it happens. AuthorAs an ordained Catholic priest for 45 years and a member of the Jesuits for 57 years, I've had a great deal of "spiritual" experience! This is a place where I can continue to share my thoughts about God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and what it means to live the "mystery of God." Categories |
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